I took a deep breath; rolled my shoulders back a few times, loosened my neck and took a couple more deep breaths. I can do this; I can do this; I can do this; and it will all turn out just fine. I envy women who entertain with ease. Who throw an appetizer, main course and dessert together - all made from scratch - set the table with flair and greet you at the door looking refreshed. Entertaining is not one of my strengths. I love the thought of it but my perfectionist streak can paralyse me when I dare to invite guests over for dinner.I felt the anxiety on Friday night scouring the store for ingredients I don't usually have in my kitchen. Although this beef chili was supposedly easy to make, it called for a lot of ingredients. So there I was, with mounting anxiety, squished in with the after work Friday crowd at Superstore trying to make sure I didn't forget anything the recipe called for.
Already I could hear M's voice - don't try a new recipe, make something you know. Where's the fun and stress in that? All our guests have already tasted my trusted bobotie recipe more than once. I like to cook. I just don't consider myself particularly good at it. After a busy day at work, I like to unwind in the kitchen making supper. But that's just for the two of us and M will eat almost anything I put in front of him. Cooking for two, I often make quick and easy meals, having company over affords me the opportunity to try something new.
Now here I was in the kitchen, Saturday morning, with all the ingredients out in front of me on the counter doing some deep breathing and shoulder stretches. Already I had run five blocks down to the IGA store to buy cornmeal. Over breakfast my mind was whirring through the recipe. I was becoming surer and surer that cornstarch and cornmeal is not the same thing. Having had this dish at Jackey's I knew that the topping was yellow but cornstarch is white, so how does it become yellow? M googled it for me. Goodbye cornstarch, hello cornmeal, which I don't have in my kitchen; hello morning run down Lonsdale.
Remove the four guests coming for dinner from the equation and I would've had a ball in the kitchen, but with every spice I added to the softened onions, I worried if this was going to turn out. I brought the sauce to the boil and added it to the browned ground beef in the slow cooker. The corn and black beans followed. It was looking and smelling good. I did a quick taste test. Ouch, that's hot! This chili was going to make a statement tonight - my poor guests. I let out a deep sigh. You can add more chili but you can't take out too much chili. Well, all I could do was let it cook on low for the next six hours.
I started to clean up the kitchen, pack away the bottles and spices and do some washing up. I picked up the can of condensed beef broth. It was unopened. Where was this supposed to go? I frantically scoured the recipe for the step I had missed. I was supposed to add it with the Worcestershire sauce, tomato paste and tomato sauce just before I brought it all to a boil. Well, it's just going to have to go in now, rather late than never!
Kitchen clean, I ran my eyes over the ingredients for the cornbread topping. Somehow, I now had a sneaky suspicion that I didn't have baking powder. I ransacked my pantry shelf. Yip, no baking powder. I slowly remembered that I had thrown it out the year before when we had moved. It's one of those ingredients you buy for one recipe and, unless you bake a lot, it hangs around forever in your pantry until you decide to throw it out when you move homes.
Another trip to another store for baking powder. "Are you sure you have everything now", M asks. Yes, Yes. Back home I double check the cornbread recipe. Who added an egg to the recipe while I was out? How did I miss that? We had eaten the last two eggs for breakfast and I needed just one. I couldn't believe this, neither could my anxiety level nor one, up-to-now, very patient husband. Another trip to another store for free-range eggs.
The beef chili with cornbread topping served with sour cream, salsa and green onions, accompanied by a salad and a robust Chilean red was a hit with our friends. I'll tackle it again. I am less daunted by the recipe and, besides which, I now have most of the ingredients in the house. And those I don't have, I know just where to buy them - even in a pinch.
